Folks,

 

Busy week again cutting and shaping: Greens have been hand cut twice again, all tees cut and fed with cold start fertiliser to encourage the last growth of the summer (we know this because it’s getting dark at 04:50 when the dreaded alarm goes off), bunker surrounds and faces complete on all 27 holes and of course the ubiquitous divot repairs that are stoically done as enthusiastically as the Celtic board sign decent defenders but with much more success it has to be said (Fraser and Jim wanted something in the blog about lack of signings as “something must be done”. Certainly “done” is Ra Sellics Champs league hopes).

 

The big man is still struggling to get to full fitness but has been busy nonetheless working on a plan for fairway repairs. At the moment, we are struggling to source an overseeder due to high demand from the grass world. In fact, we are begging our neighbours “fur alain’o’thiers”. We have tried to borrow equipment before with very little success so we might be forced to go further afield at a greater cost but needs must. It’s just another example of how the unpredictability of our weather can make us look a bit unprepared.

If we had asked, in the middle of the wettest spring in ages, to put money aside for an early rental of an overseeder and seed to repair fairways damaged by a 12 week heatwave then the Medics would have been called, while the council members fell about laughing like that old Smash ad, you mind o’ that “For mash get Smash”. Full irrigation would have greatly reduced the damage (although Dundonald and Royal Troon are overseeding areas missed by the spray) but that ship sailed a while ago when we as a membership voted to install greenside and tees only, and let the fairways look after themselves, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

 

Like the irrigation pumps, unplanned spends like these will obviously have an effect on the scope and scale of the course improvements we have proposed, but as we are very close to having a longer-term strategy these will be deferred and hopefully will not disappear, as tended to happen in “the bygone days of yore”. So, in the here and now we are in reactive mode (or the give it its real title – panic stations).

 

Well done Joanne, Ross and Robbie on becoming the new Club Champions.

Joanne and Alex G had a ding-dong battle that was won by the tightest of margins and watched by a good-sized crowd as well.

 

Great to hear Robbie was pushed all the way by a couple of “working men”. Mind you, calling a lawyer and a pilot “working men” is taking authors licence a bit far.

Reminds me of when my old man asked me “what did I want to be when I grew up”?

“A pilot” says me

“You canny do both son” ………

Seriously great effort Bruce and Jonny Mac hopefully next year Robbie will either be away playing in bigger things or will have discovered burds and bevy. Also, for best mates Ross and Ben to be first and second in the junior clubby, let’s hope they can push each other on and be in Robbie’s shoes soon. (Golf that is not the wimmin’ and wine).

We were all delighted to read and hear from both the Chair and the Captain, the praise for the way the Course was presented last weekend. Great to feel a happy and contented vibe in the sheds. Thank you.

 

One of the books we are reading, for the sheds book club discussion night, is “Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World — and Why Things Are Better Than You Think2 is a 2018 book by Hans Rosling. In his book, Rosling suggests the vast majority of human beings are wrong about the state of the world”. Some title eh.

Our take on it –

The author attempts to dispel the inherent pessimism and myopia of our fears that “the world” and by implication all of us (and youse’) are destined for an unstoppable descent into a darkness of uncertain futures, a place of lower standards, war, famine and countless disasters and things would never be as good as they were before “we’re all doomed I tell ye”.

As the book shows that’s all total rubbish mostly inspired by basic ignorance in its literal form (lack of knowledge or information), constant focus on bad news and powerful entities that can only hold or gain power by convincing us that the old days were the best and unless we retreat into a world of isolation and mistrust then we are f””ked ! (Was getting a bit carried away – needed grounding), when in fact things are constantly and nearly always consistently improving.

 

What’s that got to do with the price o’ milk, or the state of the greens you may well ask. Well you and your fellow members have just proved that when you invest in people and your assets, trust and a respect the folk you have charged with getting things done then quite simply it will happen, and will continue to happen if you allow them to grow with you and have the chance to be and feel part of something good and important for all of us (members, staff and hopefully loads of paying guests).

Nothing exists in a vacuum (except of course dug’ hair and deed’ skin) so again, credit to all the members for investing both your trust and obviously your hard earned dinero’s into the club, it can’t happen without you.

 

So on with the good news –

 

Rakexit is solved !

The shifting sands of time have not been allowed to cover the footprints and rabbit holes that plague our bunkers, no longer will your new white strides (trooosers to the non-hipster readers) be marked by rotting bits of wood. You will be able to use a rake and pick your nose without fear of deadly diseases (botulism banished indeed) and members will be saved from splinters in their “huans”. The new heads will also hopefully result in less of a sand build up at the front caused by the old “one handed rake method” so favoured by golfers. Incidentally, we have never seen a greenie rake a bunker one handed and one way towards the front but then again what do we know.

The “Gouvernement de la République Barassie” has come together in a cooperative, collective collaboration of council and committee (a bunch of Cs then) to ensure we are united for the march into the sunlit uplands of our new Jerusalem (Steady on old chap, are you sure these pills you got on the net are ones for you?). 

Fibreglass rakes will replace the wood ones.

They will sit outside the bunkers as we will explain.

 

Plagiarism is always a bloggist’s best friend (cos he husnae got ony others) so let me C&P from Mr J Ellwood the following passage from Golf World Nov 2017 – 

 

“Why out is best” (no this is not a gender issue),

“But after careful consideration, my feeling is that rakes should ideally be left outside bunkers at the point of least interference – i.e. farthest from the direct, or most likely, point of entry – where, in theory at least, they should have the least influence on things. I would appear to agree with the R&A, whose view on the matter can be found in Decisions on the Rules of Golf, Misc./2.

One final thing has dawned on me as I’ve been writing this… in all honesty, how many times during my 30 years in the game has contact with a rake given me an unfortunate ricochet or a terrible lie? The answer, at least for me, is such a negligible number that it really isn’t worth getting too hot under the collar about it!”

 

So there you have it new rakes to be left out the bunkers.

Not a hard border, hoarding, panic, or a crisis of identity in sight….eat yer heart out Teressa May or Maynot.

And finally…….

In the lexicon of the Greenies, the nomenclature produces acronyms that can make ignorance not just a lack of knowledge about a thing but can deny you access to the very world where these words are used e.g.  a scarifier is not some 60s blade wielding Glesga’ gang banger but a tool to remove moss from greens ; A toro is not a bullfighter from Bilbao but a lawn mower; or a Vredo is not just a good points getter at scrabble but a seed injector (don’t go there pls).

So for greater understanding let me explain my favourite –
Lawn Environment Training’ senior Golf Officer

or

Let’s Go! (Copyright Stevie G).

 

Profitez de votre golf

 

l’équipe des verts.